Tom Eaton on Sport, Life and the Universe

Gone Fishing

Noseweek Issue #170, 1st December 2013   By Tom Eaton


Gone Fishing

The Secret Diary of Sports Minister Fikile Mbalula, Aged 42½

The good news is that I am still Sport Minister even though bloody party-pooping Pravin has taken away all our perks. (Apparently if I spend R1,300 on a rental I now need to drive 2km – is this why we joined the Struggle?) The bad news is that I am no closer to getting Beyoncé to perform at a Ministry of Sport awards ceremony.

I wonder if Mr JayZee Knowles has ever eaten sushi off Beyoncé? What’s the super-rich version of sushi? Some sort of bling fish covered in gold? Goldfish! Note: ask Tumi to check Wikipedia if goldfish really made of gold.

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