Dear Editor

Moral mix-up

Maybe Zuma was also told: “God helps those who help themselves”; because those running the ANC have not stopped helping themselves to everything they can lay their hands on – no matter if it was meant for the poor who voted them in, or not.

Charlotte Caine

Hillbilly Club

Is Lauren Fine, the lawyer of Sylvia Ireland in “Sex and the Psychiatrist” (nose144), the same lawyer who is referred to in “Trivial Pursuit”  in nose143?

It’s weird and creepy how the same names keep cropping up time and again. Do they belong to a secret hillbilly club that the rest of us don’t know about and how do they find one another?

Shelley Bryant

The same Lauren Fine. We don’t know about the hillbilly club, but we’re investigating. We’ll keep you posted. Ed.

Break-down nerve

It’s not just Merc and BMW dealerships that are into the big repair rip-off.

Karen Hofmann’s Voyager got stuck in Bryanston. As Chrysler Rivonia was just up the road, the AA towed the car to them. Two days later, they quoted R26,000 to fix it – which was ludicrous, so Karen had it towed to Dave at Parkhurst Auto who repaired the car for R1,700.

After six months, the car is still going perfectly.

How does that old advert go? “Makes ya think!”

Clive Varejes

Mr Nose has been thinking those thoughts for a good long while. Now see the BMW parts case story in this issue for the other half of the scam. – Ed.

Censusless stats

WHEN the census enumerator came to our house, she had seven people to list, aged from 82 to 15. Straightforward: start with the oldest and work down.

Eventually we got to Section C: General Health  and Functioning. Answers were to be rated 1 = No difficulty; 2 = Some difficulty; 3 = A lot of difficulty; 4 = Cannot do at all; 5 = Do not know; 6 = Cannot yet be determined.

Number 1 on our list has macular degeneration and, as the first question was about “Seeing”, our census gal printed 3 next to this, then proceeded to put a 3 next to each and every answer in that section for all of us: “Hearing; Communicating; Walking/Climbing; Remembering/Concentrating; Self-care” – all of us have a lot of difficulty in each of these fields.

Then came “Assistive Devices and Medication”: 1 = Yes; 2 = No and 3 = Do not know.

Persons number 1,2,3 and 5 all wear glasses. But, guess what, the enumerator decided she’d just mark everything with a 1, so now we’re all wearing glasses, have hearing aids, a walking stick/frame, are in wheelchairs and are on chronic medication.

She asked Mum (aged 75) and me (52) all the info about the births of our children – when the form specifically says only ask females aged 12 to 50. And the one 23 year old female wasn't asked at all.

What kind of statistics is the government really hoping to gain from these farcical forms?


With luck: 1. Number of people; 2. Age distribution; 3. Sex; 4. that they’d designed a farcical form (they forgot, less is more); 5. that something has to be done about education – urgently. The extent of the farce should leave us in no doubt about that
. – Ed.

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Submitted by : Dj Maciver of STANFORD on 2011-11-23 16:56:37
Despite being very much alive and a citizen I have not been 'counted' in either of the last 2 Censuses. One in Gauteng and more recently in the Western Cape. Often when I go into a shop I wonder if I have become the invisible man - everyone else seems to get served except me. This time my house did not even get a sticker! The US military need look no further than me to solve all their research into being invisible.


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