Dear Editor

Greek to me
You made a serious mistake in your report on the Theodosious: they’re
not Greek. They’re Cypriots. A correction and an apology would be much
George the Greek
So sorry!  We regret any embarrassment caused to the Greek community –
and now to the Cypriot community too. – Ed.

Irascible scumbags Eish! You guys excel at putting greasy noses out of joint. Your snoop scoop toasted the three fat-cats-from-hell big time! (nose94, Billionaire cheats).
I admire Greeks. Think of it: the ingenious Trojan Horse, the iconic Acropolis, their ideals of true love, irresistible honey-laced cakes,
Olympic glory, Homer’s Ulysses ... all their invention.
But these okes? The fairytale CV, the claimed regular attendance at the local Greek Orthodox Church, the Levantine lineage ... it’s all
bollocks! They’re irascible scumbags!
I admit to being an habitue of said Lonehill precinct. (The cappucinos are great.) You’ll find them there, hob-nobbing with Virgin Active
girls and nouveau riche dollies pretending they’re a cut above Posh Spice, while idling to the masculine throb of their big 4x4s.
Rob C
A touch jealous of the throbbing 4x4? Me, too. – Ed.
Pine time
After reading your scary pineapple exposé and the reference to Del Monte, I started wondering: our local Spar store has for the past year been
selling Del Monte canned peaches at approx. R3.85 for a 420g tin, which, as any housewife will tell you is very good value. They have now
added Del Monte fruit cocktail (which includes pineapple) to their stock at the same low price. How can I find out whether these have a high
cadmium content? Maybe they bought huge stocks because someone was trying to offload them cheaply? Any ideas for me?
Barbara Calderwood
Barry Spitz it out
For the record: I was never employed by FirstRand. I was a consultant and director of the International Law & Tax Institute (Pty) Ltd, which had been retained by FirstRand Bank Ltd to, inter alia, advise it on
matters of [legal] compliance.
The Institute’s contract with FirstRand was terminated in 2001 – with a gift and a letter of thanks and good wishes to me from FirstRand.
There was no single acrimonious word in it. The advice on compliance given to FirstRand by the Institute in
connection with the Ansbacher structures, including their so-called “Duisberg” structure, was strictly in line with what FirstRand had already been
informed by the Exchange Control Authorities, and was intended to assist FirstRand in the performance of duties of financial compliance.
The current commercial action between the Institute and FirstRand relates only to the payment of certain commissions owing by FirstRand to the
Institute. The shareholders of the Institute embrace certain investors, including myself, as well as charitable trusts.
As a gesture of cordiality, I wrote personally to Mr Sizwe Nxasana, after his recent appointment as CEO of FirstRand Bank Limited, informing
him that I had withdrawn certain other purely personal cases against the bank for the reason that Mr Nxasana had not been the CEO of the bank
at the time when the events occurred, which had given rise to the personal actions in question.
I am a former advisor to the Scorpions, SARS and the Department of Foreign Affairs, to the US Congress and the IRS, as well as to more than
ten other foreign governmental and international agencies, in the field
of financial compliance.
Barry Spitz
You make it sound all innocence and light. Why? The pleadings in your case, and the documents subsequently produced by the bank at court
reveal that the situation was anything but innocent. Your institute’s case is based on FirstRand’s having fraudulently contrived not to have to pay
your company the fees and commissions due to it in terms of your contract.
It gets worse: the documents produced in the case by the bank itself make that shocking proposition seem entirely credible. Already those documents prove that the directors and senior executives of one of the country’s major financial institutions – the Financial
Services Board is supposed to have certified them “fit and proper persons” for the job – are nothing but a bunch of white-collar criminals who
have for years been indulging in frauds for their own further enrichment at the expense of the community at large. And they have been marketing
these same criminal schemes – to launder money and evade tax – to the rich and famous of South Africa, recklessly exposing the country’s
business elite to criminal sanction.
OK, so all you want is to be paid without fuss; we, on the other hand, want their guts on a plate. See article later in this issue.  – Ed.
Fifa’s load of balls
So we’re not allowed to use the number twenty ten (or two thousand and ten), as it’s been bought and is owned by Fifa (nose94).

I make no apologies for being grossly offended yet ironically amused by this ludicrous state of affairs – the assumed ownership of a number.
Does this mean that the horned one, old Lucifer, should derive royalty benefits whenever the figure 666 is written or published anywhere?
There must be a whole stack of money owing to Beelzebub courtesy of Madiba himself as it could be persuasively argued that Lou’s moniker
appears subtly in Mr Mandela’s old prison number 46664 – and that particular brand has been merchandised to absolute death.
Of course you’ll only go along with that if you believe in Lucifer.What if I don’t believe in Sepp Blatter, or Fifa? Numbers belong to
everyone. Fifa’s claim is akin to asserting ownership of ozone as a component of the Earth’s atmosphere and broadcasting to the world that you have
to pay Fifa every time you breathe.
Confused? Of course we are – it makes our heads hurt. It’s designed to keep us from asking too many questions... now move along and let your
rulers make the decisions for you – they do know best.
It’s not so much that we wing it and make it up as we go along (which we most certainly do), but more that we buy into the bullshit that we’re
dispensed like mind-controlled lemmings in a suicidal race – do I hear Sting’s Synchronicity II playing in the background?
But to get back to the Great 2010 Scam and the damp squib it’s sure to be for those South Africans who dream of future benefits: we all know
it’s a Fifa moneyraker and little else.
Paul Murray

Filling the emptiness
Like Melody Mitchell (Letters, nose93), I was disappointed with Shawna Westcott’s article on the “Temple Beautiful” (nose92). Westcott states:
“The tapes I had heard would be hilarious, were they not also a touch sinister”, but she gives us a single quote – and there’s nothing
sinister in it! All the rest appears to be double-hearsay from an unnamed “one” of a “number of therapists and healers”.
Despite my disappointment with Westcott’s piece, I went on to read the columns of Attorney Muhlberg, Harold Strachan, and Marike Roth, and...
bless them!... the feeling of emptiness subsided.
Coen van Wyk
New Hanover

What a Lot
Harold Strachan’s last word on the dysfunctional family of Lot is a clear indication that a New Testament had to be introduced for God’s
Come on, do the courageous thing and read the Book of John in the New Testament. Redemption through Christ is for real.
By email
Pass the Old Brown
Editor: “Come on guys, it’s late, we still need to fill two pages.”
Pair of writers: “What should we write about”? Editor: “Hmm, difficult one. I tell you what: here are some crayons, two bottles of Old Brown Sherry and a couple of joints. Get totally
wrecked and write whatever crap comes to mind.”
That appears to have been your brief to Harold Strachan and Marike Roth. Ah well, that’s my view; I thoroughly enjoyed the other 38 pages though.
Adrian Hill
Cape Town
I’m not responsible for any crayons, Old Brown sherry or joints, but you’ve got the brief about right. You missed the point? You’re not into
the joys of exploring the peculiarities of the world, history and humankind? Pondering the supposedly imponderable? And still you enjoyed 95%
of noseweek. I’m happy with that. By the sound of it, having had your gripe, so are you. Thanks for letting us know. – Ed.


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