It is a social sin in certain circles
to go to a dinner party empty handed.
The most acceptable gift is chocolate.
In an attempt to determine the ritual significance
of this custom, a UCT social science student
inserted a minute tracking device into a box
of Ferrero Rocher which he presented
at a dinner party in Rondebosch. The results
were staggering. Unopened, the box travelled
to 300 houses in 6 months, covering
a total distance of 800 kilometres at an average
speed of 69 metres per hour. Many houses were
visited more than once the researcher himself
gave the gift 10 times. This re-gifting constitutes
generosity at its most cost-effective. It pleases
a multitude at minimal cost (the student received
the first box at his birthday party). Given the results,
the chocolate giant is set to launch a new product :
an empty carton suitably weighted
with remaindered poetry collections as,
it is well known, poetry has no sell-by-date.
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