Max du Preez takes a turn in the Balkans and gains some insights about South Africa.

There I was in the south-Serbian backwater of Vranje, washing down excellent cavapcici and red peppers with a cool Jelen Pivo, when a fellow traveller, who had just received a phone call from home, shouted across the restaurant: "Thabo has been kicked out! Kgalema is our new president!"

People living near an Mpumalanga chipboard factory are incensed by its nauseating emissions.

"When the wind blows this way, my eyes bleed," says Mpumalanga businessman Rob Schormann. The noise is constant and the smell so nauseating at times that people living downwind are forced to seal themselves inside their houses for hours.

It seems that Frans Rootman, the “friendly kwagga” as he likes to call himself, was none too pleased to have made it onto the pages of  nose106, and there’s now absolutely nothing friendly about him.

The South African Institute of Intellectual Property Lawyers (SAIIPL) declares on its website that among its objectives is “to act as a disciplinary body that protects the interests of the South African public by ensuring that standards and practices in the field of Intellectual Property Law are maintained”.

Arrie Johannes has proved to be anything but your typical poor South African. When he lost his Fort Beaufort home under the hammer of sheriff Barbara-Jean Herman (nose97), he simply refused to give in to the injustice of it – despite being told by various attorneys that he had no chance of recovering his property.

Julian Schragenheim, the 84-year- old who refused to be bullied by First National Bank after a ghost siphoned R1000 from his account (nose108) has got it back – but FNB is not disclosing how the money disappeared in the first place.

BeeAwina (nose106) has stalled. The proposed July launch date has been repeatedly postponed, and no-one is saying why.

Perhaps the pyramid-schemers have simply underestimated the intelligence of the public – but a few did fall in the assault, and some of those who have lost out are baying for blood.

Graves have been robbed at Gordon's Bay and the destruction of the "coloured" section of the almost century-old graveyard has families demanding to know what the tomb-raiders have done with the human remains. Any discovery of human remains would have meant reversion to a national heritage site.

The blame is falling on former councillor Anthon Fuchs, private developer Anthony de la Fontaine and various Helderberg council officials.

After gathering dust for a couple of decades and swallowing R8bn, SA's attack chopper will finally see action in Sudan.

Rooivalk has come near to crippling Denel. In 2002 the company posted a net loss of R363m.

Life behind bars could take on a different meaning for high-living billionaire Douw Steyn if private charges brought against him by a former lover succeed.

Insurance billionaire Douw Steyn, 55, is to face criminal charges for extortion and intimidation. A summons is about to be served on him in a private prosecution by Sandton attorney Ian Levitt, who represents Bianca Ferrante, the Sicilian beauty who was attacked by a champagne-wielding assailant as she slumbered with Steyn in suite at The Saxon boutique hotel (nose106).

Stonewalling is when Audi Fourways drives your car at high speed into a garden wall.

And then says nothing.

Audi dealer keeps shtoom after writing off client's car.

Estate agents still in bed with lawyers.

Don't you just love them?

Yes, perhaps if you're an attorney whose bread and butter is conveyancing. And though attorneys are now allowed to market their services, the line between marketing and touting can be very fine.

The Schoss case is the last of the big bucks RAF settlements - the courts will make much more realistic awards in the future.

Mystery surrounds the identity of the Road Accident Fund's London reinsurers who have paid out the bulk of a record R519m settlement with Swiss-based millionaire Joachim Schoss. There were secret settlement talks and after six years of legal haggling, RAF chief executive Jacob Modise dispensed with lawyers and flew alone to Zurich to strike the deal.

Pity the minor officials who miss out on land-use bribery