While New York Governor Eliot Spitzer was paying an “escort” $4300 in a hotel room in Washington, just down the road George Bush’s new Federal Reserve Board (Reserve Bank) chairman, Ben Bernanke, was secretly handing over $200bn in a tryst with mortgage bank industry speculators.

Both acts were wanton, wicked and lewd. But there’s a big difference: the Governor used his own cheque book; Bernanke was using taxpayers’ money.

When is a tobacco advert just a 'communication'?

Not only does multi-billion rand Swiss tobacco company Philip Morris dismiss the World Health Organisation’s convention on tobacco control, it also spurns local legislation barring advertising of tobacco products.  

It is not unreasonable to expect the world’s biggest producer of computer software to act rationally. After all, computers are logical beasts. But, we have discovered, Microsoft’s environmental policy is so far removed from its environmental practice that one is left wondering which software they use to monitor their own performance. “MicroSox-Smoker” would be our first guess. 

A simple guide to snatching your partner's business from under him.

BUSINESS STUDIES 101 – How to create a successful business:

• Find people who have the South African licence or agency for a successful international brand.
• Go into business with them and create a new company.
• Create a fictitious debt in the company’s books – in favour of yourself – and apply to liquidate the company on the basis of this debt.
• Tell the brand owner that its South African licensee or agent is about to go bust.
• Suggest to the brand owner that it awards the licence or agency to another South African company – one you happen to own.
• Enjoy many years of prosperity.

Life, love and death at the Sandhurst palace

When Miko Rwayitare was around, life in his R100m Sandhurst mansion was lived at full throttle, lubricated by a steady flow of the billionaire’s favourite tipple – Mont Rochelle, an oak-matured chardonnay from his Franschhoek vineyard. Although the vineyard (acquired in 2001 for R17m) also produces a memorable merlot, Miko preferred the white, served ice cold.

Last year was an annus horribilis at Durbanville Methodist Society. Not only was their youth pastor arrested on charges of sexual assault, but their minister was fired, and a great deal of ill feeling rankled among the brethren.

While some claim that no real damage has been done to the congregation, there is unfinished business to resolve.

The University of the Western Cape shows more interest in nailing a whistleblower than in mending its ways.

It emerges that the university's recruitment process is not quite halaal.

In nose96 we took a look at how Patricia Gorvalla and Prof Brian O’Connell influenced the appointment of Manie Regal as director of finance at the University of Western Cape. Bad habits seem to die hard; noseweek can reveal that, when it comes to staff recruitment at this university, who you know outweighs your qualifications – or lack of them.

But let’s first revisit the vexed issue of the transport tendering process. Soon after our nose93 report UWC vice chancellor Prof Brian O’Connell wrote to noseweek claiming that the whole matter had in fact been handled transparently – but went on to say he had commissioned Deloitte & Touche to undertake a forensic audit of the process.